Sunday, June 26, 2005
-10:14 PM-
i cut my hair. no more ponytail. looks so different. will need some getting used to.
guess i won't be alright for at least 1 week. or maybe 2 weeks.
everytime i close my eyes, i'll see the school field. and in my mind, i'll be walking from the school. down some steps to the underpass with all the graffiti. walking up the steps and to the town. then, the scene changes and i see the room i share with my host. the swing. the middle-finger rug. my bed. i'll see the living room, with sparky curled up on the sofa. the kitchen, where i'm eating and talking to eva and mama. with sparky under the dining table whining and begging us to give him a sausage. then in the classroom i share with the 11 others. decorated with our work and pictures of us. herr purtauf or herr meyer or frau buschmann or frau heng standing at the front.
berlin was fun. all the excursions were fun. butbut it's the things we've been seeing everyday for this 1 month that i just can't get off my mind.
i keep thinking what time it is in germany. and if eva and mama are missing me or not.
andand my last glimpse of deutschland. crying and looking out the plane window. seeing fireworks explode from somewhere in frankfurt.
someday i'll get over all the tears. someday. i'll still miss u all. i'll still wanna go back to deutschland with u all. butbut perhaps i won't be crying when i think of it. vielleicht.
butbut just let me hold on to it for now. fuer ein Moment.
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