Thursday, June 30, 2005
-10:20 PM-
eva replied my email! (= am both happy and sad.
happy that i still can hear from her. andand i heard she might be coming to singapore along with a few other hosts at the end of the year. wheee. if she really does that, i think i'll prolly cry when i see her.
and sad. seitdem du weg bist ist unsere wohnung wieder so leer... (it has been so empty ever since you went away.) dats wat she said in her reply.
which reminds me just how far apart we are from each other. i just realized we are like on the other side of the earth. more than 10 000 km away from deutschland. it seems so possible that we'll see them again, and germany too, and yet so impossible at the same time.
seufz. will we ever meet again?
okay i will follow mira and do shoutouts here too. maybe 3 for today. -nods-
mira: my very best galfren on this trip! i know it would have been like totally different for me if u hadn't been there. what would i have done without u? -nods-
love ya loads. for everything! for the shopping, getting lost together, bitching about sucky stuff, liking pink andand yep u said it! walking at the singaporean pace. haha! and everything else we did in deutschland! our characters clash, butbut who cares. we had a great time. danke fuer alles!
yu jay: thanks so much for umm bringing us lotsa amusement. -nods- like the bickering between u and mira. and the staring competition. ^^ even though u always left us behind, and u think food's more important than mira or me, andand u pushed me into the pond xP, ur still quite nice larr. wheee. love ya loads too!
joshua: miss the way u blush andand the way u say 'no'! i still have a recording of dat. (= thanks for being so nice to us girls. like dat time u helped me slice the bread with your strong arms, andand like always trying to help us when u can. love ya for dat. dun be too stressed out wif sch. we're always behind you!
done with the shoutouts for today.
Sometimes i feel like crying
Laying down and dying
That's when i need you
Laughing's always easy
But sometimes i'm just scared you'd leave me
That's when i need you
Emotional
waiting is such torture.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
-10:17 PM-
photos from germany! click!
butbut i haven't gotten the other pictures from the other people, so this isn't so complete.
-10:14 PM-
i cut my hair. no more ponytail. looks so different. will need some getting used to.
guess i won't be alright for at least 1 week. or maybe 2 weeks.
everytime i close my eyes, i'll see the school field. and in my mind, i'll be walking from the school. down some steps to the underpass with all the graffiti. walking up the steps and to the town. then, the scene changes and i see the room i share with my host. the swing. the middle-finger rug. my bed. i'll see the living room, with sparky curled up on the sofa. the kitchen, where i'm eating and talking to eva and mama. with sparky under the dining table whining and begging us to give him a sausage. then in the classroom i share with the 11 others. decorated with our work and pictures of us. herr purtauf or herr meyer or frau buschmann or frau heng standing at the front.
berlin was fun. all the excursions were fun. butbut it's the things we've been seeing everyday for this 1 month that i just can't get off my mind.
i keep thinking what time it is in germany. and if eva and mama are missing me or not.
andand my last glimpse of deutschland. crying and looking out the plane window. seeing fireworks explode from somewhere in frankfurt.
someday i'll get over all the tears. someday. i'll still miss u all. i'll still wanna go back to deutschland with u all. butbut perhaps i won't be crying when i think of it. vielleicht.
butbut just let me hold on to it for now. fuer ein Moment.
Saturday, June 25, 2005
-10:13 PM-
I'm back in Singapore!
butbut i wanna go back! i never wanna leave germany! i wanna stay there forever!
am usually very happy when coming back to Singapore from other countries. more like overjoyed.
butbut this time i wasn't. on my last day in germany, i cried in the morning. cried when i was eating lunch. most of us cried for more than half an hour when we said goodbye to our host families and boarded the bus going to frankfurt airport. cried when the plane took off from frankfurt. cried when the plane landed in singapore. cried when we were outside the arrival hall taking group photos and saying goodbye to each other.
i miss germany soooo much. i miss my host family soooo much. i miss all of you soooo darn much.
lazing around in the sun after swimming.
meeting with friends at the disco every Friday night.
playing truth and dare on the bus during excursions.
sitting on the ground and getting people to take pictures of us pointing at the remains of the original Berlin Wall.
shopping in Potsdamer Platz in Berlin. and shopping in Frankenberg during lunch every Thursday.
watching my host Eva perform stunts on horseback in a competition.
getting pushed into a pond twice at a birthday party.
tying balloons to my ponytail on Hessentag. watching Mira and Yasmin eat helium from balloons and then try to sing "Lonely".
spinning Joshua round this thing in the playground and watching him stumble around like a madman and then fall down onto the grass laughing. being spun around the same thingy and feeling surprised to see myself doing exactly what he did.
sitting round a campfire in Joshua's host's garden.
walking the dog in the countryside.
eating ice-cream with liquor, then starting to get high and keep laughing with Mira. and scaring rhea, justin and yu jay at the same time cuz they think we're drunk.
posing with Yasmin and Mira as charlie's angels for photo.
and so much more...
these are the best days of my life and i know i most probably won't ever get this experience again. i dunno if i'll ever see my host family again. mama (my host mother) made me promise to visit them again. she was crying too. and i cried even harder when i opened the suitcase she gave me and found all the food i loved to eat in germany.
most of all, i dun wanna part from all the people who went along on this journey with me.
ich liebe euch! ich wird euch sehr vermissen und will euch nie vergessen. ich hoffe wir koennen noch einmal nach Deutschland zusammenfahren. Bis gleich! Danke fuer alles. Freunde fuer immer!
Auf wiedersehen, Deutschland. Ich liebe dich.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
-1:40 AM-
am back from berlin. (=
guess i can say dat on the whole berlin was funnn. especially the shopping. ^^
butbut firstly will talk abt the disco. the disco was kind of not such a big deal i guess. the dance floor was like nur 4 meter square and there was hardly any dancing. except mebbe like every hr a few ppl go up and do stuff dat looks like line-dancing. serious. not kidding. line-dancing.
and the place was like a lot of smoke. so 6 of us. me, yasmin, mira, rhea, justin and yu jay. we kept walking out of the disco. go somewhere else. den walk back into the disco.
so first time we went out of the disco, we went to mira's host's house. which was like behind the disco. -nods- andand we went up to the attic. played truth or dare. butbut basically no one chose dare. everyone chose truth. ^^" i was going to choose 'dare', butbut they warned me they might try to make me do something to like any random German outside, so i still chose 'truth' in the end, like everybody else. ^^" still, it was realli realli fun. it was like the 1st time the Singapore ppl got together to play like dat.
after dat, went back in. den came out again and went to a pizza shop. slacked around there and basically we kept going in and out of the disco.
den when only yasmin, mira and me were left, mira wanted us to walk her home. cuz it's this really creepy, dark, cold street that she has to take to get to her host's house from the disco. and we were kinda like freaked out too. when we reached mira's house, yasmin was like "if u hear our screams, quickly come and help us."
so yasmin and i were the only ones left and we were walking back to the disco and 2 drunk guys popped up like 50m from us. so we got quite scared and started walking faster. and the guys started shouting and calling us sluts. ><>
this time when we went back to the disco, yasmin's host was going home and yasmin went with her. so i was the only one left (my host was preoccupied with her bf).
then then guess wat happened.
this big guy suddenly came over to me. and he put his face veh close to me and started talking. i was like stranded in the corner. he asked me if i was alone. and how old i was.
!!!
when i told the others this the next morning, they were all horrified. kinda realized how dangerous the disco was. that night i was probably saved cuz my host noticed halfway dat this guy was talking to me. andand my host-mother was there too. they wanted to go home already, so i was kinda lucky. he was good-looking, butbut it's still freaky. and it had to happen to me. \=
ok guess i dun have time to blog abt berlin for now. will do it next time. -nods- me and mira spent quite a lot of money in berlin. hehhh.
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